By Anonymous
Thursday September 4, 2008

Can you spell T-H-E-O-C-R-A-C-Y? Well, if not, you better learn how. There will be a quiz. And those failing will not be welcome in America. In fact, those failing may well be dead in America.

I'm not talking about any old Theocracy. I'm talking about the big one. I'm talking about the Christian Theocracy planned over decades by devious and well funded Christian forces painstakingly infiltrating government and corporate bodies to form the ultimate Neo-Fascist Christianity we now know as the Dominion Christian Movement. I'm talking about those who would re-instate the Mosaic Law and the seventeen or so biblical capital offenses. I'm talking about a hapless assemblage of those who believe that adulteresses need still be stoned and unruly children and free spirited in-laws be burned at the stake to satisfy a vengeful God. I'm talking about a group that would toss you to the lions.

And what better way to introduce this Theocracy than a charismatic woman, totally dedicated in her mortal existence to her invisible savior Jesus Christ and devoted to the narrow doctrines of her beliefs? Forget all that is secular and imagine a glowing Christian tableau of Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska and pretender to the throne of Virgin Mother, ascending to the post of Vice President and shortly after the elections the tragic death of John McCain propelling her to the presidency. This is to be expected. It is ordained.

Amy Semple McPherson would be proud. America's early twentieth century version of Sarah Palin could not have envisioned the scope and intensity of such a vile and misplaced misanthrope as Ms. Palin. Not in her most hopeful thoughts was a person so steeped in myth and superstition as our Ms. Palin to be loosed upon an unsuspecting population.

Given the boldness garnered from the encouraging masses of adoring sycophants, Ms. Palin bravely informed the graduating class of her Pentecostal alma mater that the Iraq War is a messianic endeavor and a God-ordered crusade against the evils of Islam. In fact any American wars were God driven and meant to advance the supremacy of Christian doctrines in order to purify America for the return of Jesus Christ. American soldiers, irrespective of personal belief are now all "Christian Soldiers." And they'd better be, for there is no opting out of Christian Soldiering in today's armed forces, save that of those prepared to be cast on the rocks of religious rejection or those fortunate enough to be snatched from the jaws of sacrifice by the Military Religious Freedom Foundation.

Sadly, the Antichrist is always identified as a man. If there were ever to be such a creature and that creature so devious and impervious to reason, it would have to be a modern version of the Gorgon Medusa, with forked tongue, scaly hide and serpents for hair, her gargantuan bow drawn back and arrow flying to it's target of brave and reasonable men sent to silence her and enable mankind to progress.

Ms, Palin indeed, is Medusa, so enthralled is she to the unnatural, the quaint and the archaic that she is prepared to avidly share her beliefs with you. Soon you will share her beliefs or else.

Today's elective process has turned from the political to the ecclesiastical and if we vote Republican we will be voting for the last time as there will be no subsequent elections, only acclamations of the ruling religious dictatorship. As you know, ostensibly we don't vote for one who is running for God but I fear that this time we are voting for the God of America rather then the president.

Get out your old Mossberg 12 gauge and knock off a couple of Polar bears, gut shoot an Elk, machine gun a few Wolverines, depth charge a few right whales and slaughter other endangered species, get out your axe and chop down a few redwoods, emit as much CO2 as you can and be sure to pee in a river or stream as often as you can. As we foul this earth, God will give us a new one; at least according to Ms. Palin.

OK, so Bristol Palin failed Bush's abstinence-only program; as have countless other teens at the cost of billions. And as he saw the moonlight gleaming off the barrel of Sarah's shotgun barrel, her boyfriend knew Bristol was the gal for him. That and a rather tidy sum, deposited to his Swiss bank account.

But be of good cheer. There is the possibility that good people will rise to the occasion and bring a semblance of sanity back to the electoral process. Damn the hanging chads, full speed ahead.

ANONYMOUS, FEARFUL OF THE WRATH OF GOD'S AVENGING ANGEL